(Originally published in New York Press)
Beards have been back for a while, and now that New York magazine has made a point of explaining the trend to its readers, we’re half expecting to see the pale, weak chins of Bushwick reappear in revolt.
And while the article pointed out the many ways that the modern urban mountain man can live the lifestyle that his facial hair advertises, from learning to butcher his own meat to buying $280 flannel jackets, one crucial aspect of the bearded man’s life was ignored: smooching.
As anyone who has kissed a man with a beard can tell you, where there are beards, there is burn. So to help sooth your skin after an all-night make out session with Paul Bunyon, we assembled a panel of experts to give us tips on what to do before (or, unfortunately, after) a bad case of beard burn hits.
It doesn’t matter if it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere, stay away from the stubble.
“I find it harder with stubble than with beards, which are softer,” explains Pinups Magazine editor Christopher Schulz. “I just kiss men with beards. I’ve actually seen this problem a lot but now that beards are trendier, it’s a lot easier not having that problem with a beard. I think in the history of hair trends there’s always been an up and down with it. In the ’70s, it was really popular. Men all had beards and didn’t shave their bodies at all and then in the ’80s and ’90s we all did, and now I just think it’s returning to that ’70s trend.”
Treat the hair on your face like the hair on your head.
“The biggest thing for guys with beards is a lot of them don’t realize that they need to wash their beards like they would the hair on their head,” says Diane Wood, of King of Shaves, a line of shaving products. “A lot of people complain that their husbands or their boyfriends beards are hard, and one of the reasons they do get like that is from the hard water and soap that they use on their beards. Regular bar soap contains a lot of fatty acids, which basically builds up like the soap scum would around your bathtub, so when a guy gets that really hard beard it’s from build up. What they should use is a hair conditioner like you’d use for your head because it has something that will neutralize those acids and make the beard a lot softer. It will also condition the hair underneath.”
Moisturize before you make out.
“I’ve had this problem myself,” explains Nick Burns, author of The Bearded Gentleman: The Style Guide to Shaving Face. “I’ve kissed many a bearded gentleman. I used to get [beard burn] so bad, it was horrible. The most important thing is making sure your skin is moisturized. Dry skin tends to be more sensitive and easier to get irritated especially from a beard. Find a good moisturizer for your skin type. Some are heavy in fragrance, which can irritate your skin. If you’re using an aggressive exfoliant like alpha-hydroxy acid, that can make you sensitive as well, so if you’re going to be kissing a bearded gentlemen, you should probably figure out what’s making your skin sensitive.”
If you do get burned, proceed to the nearest pharmacy.
“If you do experience beard burn, the best thing to do is put moisturizer on it as soon as you can.” If the damage seems more severe, Burns recommends you “use a little over-the-counter hydrocortisone cream to sooth the irritation. It will also take out the redness.”
Or at least try a triple antibiotic.
“Beard hair is as strong as copper wire of the same thickness, so if you’re really getting cut up that badly, it’s more of a cut than it is anything else, so treat it like you would any other minor cut. I’ve heard of people using stuff like Neosporin,” Wood says.
Check out this video of the men of New York Fashion Week as they offer tips, advice and espouse their love for a hairy Valentine’s Day.
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