Beards have been back for a while, and now that New York magazine has made a point of explaining the trend to its readers, we’re half expecting to see the pale, weak chins of Bushwick reappear in revolt.

And while the article pointed out the many ways that the modern urban mountain man can live the lifestyle that his facial hair advertises, from learning to butcher his own meat to buying $280 flannel jackets, one crucial aspect of the bearded man’s life was ignored: smooching.